{"product_id":"tmrma-mens-t-shirt","title":"The Most Retard Man Alive T-Shirt","description":"\u003ch2\u003eThe Lore\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCaptures the raw energy of \u003cstrong\u003elate 2010s\u003c\/strong\u003e absurdist shitpost culture when edgelord humor peaked on anonymous imageboards. The jagged marker scrawl aesthetic mimics those hastily-written memes that went viral for all the wrong reasons (crude DIY energy made permanent). Wearing this signals you're fluent in the deepest tiers of internet subculture where offensive taboos became ironic currency. For those who remember when shock value memes ruled the timeline and understand the chaotic beauty of terminally online self-deprecation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eThe Specs\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBase:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cstrong\u003eComfort Colors 1717\u003c\/strong\u003e is The gold standard for vintage vibes with garment-dyed softness that normally takes years to break in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFabric:\u003c\/strong\u003e Heavyweight 207 GSM (6.10 oz) 100% Ring-Spun USA-Grown Cotton.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrint Tech:\u003c\/strong\u003e Next-Gen DTFlex—a specialized cold-peel transfer that delivers \u003cstrong\u003eultra-vibrant, crack-resistant\u003c\/strong\u003e graphics with superior stretch and a smooth, modern matte finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeel:\u003c\/strong\u003e Print flexes like liquid rebellion across substantial cotton canvas. Hangs with the chaotic confidence of someone who peaked during peak internet degeneracy. Weathered putty softness that gets more perfectly scuffed with wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Relaxed fit with a structured feel—thick and substantial without being stiff. Pre-shrunk and garment-dyed. True to size.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eThe Trust\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOEKO-TEX® 100 · WRAP Certified · US Cotton Trust Protocol · \u003cstrong\u003eZero-Crack HD Print\u003c\/strong\u003e · \u003cstrong\u003eSweatshop-Free Production (US\/EU)\u003c\/strong\u003e · Made-to-Order (Zero Overproduction)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRating:\u003c\/strong\u003e R · Dark-Ironic · Adult Only\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVisual Accessibility:\u003c\/strong\u003e Set against a vintage, weathered putty beige canvas, this design features a bold text graphic rendered in deep charcoal ink. The phrase \"THE MOST RETARD MAN ALIVE\" mimics crude, hand-scrawled marker strokes (jittery edges and uneven weights) to achieve a raw, DIY aesthetic. This irregular, all-caps typography creates a sharp contrast with the solid, neutral background.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Shirtwascash","offers":[{"title":"Granite \/ S","offer_id":42215635058750,"sku":"4517740_17655","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Granite \/ M","offer_id":42215635091518,"sku":"4517740_17656","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Granite \/ L","offer_id":42215635124286,"sku":"4517740_17657","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Granite \/ XL","offer_id":42215635157054,"sku":"4517740_17658","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Granite \/ 2XL","offer_id":42215635189822,"sku":"4517740_17659","price":31.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Granite \/ 3XL","offer_id":42215635222590,"sku":"4517740_17660","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Granite \/ 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