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Don't Rustle Me Mousepad

Jimmies weren't meant to be rustled, but sometimes someones gunna rustle you. It's a fact of life but instead of getting aggravated and charged with internet manslaughter by the internet police, we suggest taking our 10 step method of unrustlement:

Step 1: > take several deep breaths

Step 2: > raise both arms above your head

Step 3: > shout at the top of your lungs

Windows will shatter, your neighbors wake up to the sounds of head explosions

Step 4: > stand on your desk chair

Step 5: > jump up and down, intensifying with each jump from your trunk-like thighs

The world tilts 1 degree in the wrong direction, seasons change, bears leave their hibernation

Step 6: > roll your eyes to the back of your head, speak in your true native tongue

The bears are angered and they hear your howling. They are commanded to find vengeance.

Step: 7: > still jumping, spin your chair in ever-quickening rotations

Winds shift, Tsunamis destroy every coastline, all nuclear reactors meltdown

Step 8: > tear your flesh off and whiplash it into a hardened whip. speak to Lucifer himself

He hears your calls and respects the cut of your jib. There is a throne - surrounded by beer volcanos and stripper factories - waiting for your arrival

Step 9: > your muscles bulge, blowing through the walls around you, the fragments sent to outerspace

This isn't even your final form.

Step 10: > Grab a snickers, you're always on edge when you're hungry


Mouse Pad Disclaimer & Gamer Guarantee: All of our mouse pads are 10.5 inches tall x 12 inches wide. They are printed in full resolution and true color using the same unique printing method found on our shirts. The image will never fade from use and if there are ever any signs of wear on the image - email us a picture for a replacement.

Thin Cloth Surface

Provides comfort during intense gaming and work sessions.

Rubberized Bottom

Offers stability for smooth mouse movement on any surface.