TL;DR Make a shirt now!

Your conscious shakes you back into wakeful reality. Losing time like this used to only happen when you were halfway through reading a book or finally on the verge of learning something new. This state of mindless action is occurring too frequency.

Thankfully this time you look around and know where you are. You'd always recognize the blue-ish glow emitting from the desktop computer in your bedroom. The screen is blank. You've pushed away curiosity for far too long - something is wrong. Fear creeps in as the idea of mental illness becomes a possible explanation. "Fuck..."

Finally breaking through a frozen state of helpless ignorance, you investigate which computer programs were previously open to find it was only the Google Ultron web browser. A few clicks let's you know that the entire browser history was cleared. ...That's new. You never clear that thing. Did your subconscious somehow know this was the time you'd look?

Your world goes blank.

Your world goes blank.                              Your world goes blank.

Your world goes blank.

Your world goes blank.

Terror rips you awake as your body feels itself free falling in space. The worst way to wake up from a dream state. You look around and know exactly where you are. You'd always recognize the blue-ish glow emi tting from your laptop but the room is unfamiliar. You look at a picture frame on the wall and see your bigges t crush. Is this their room?

Scattered emotions resembling the p eak of an acid trip flood your body and mind. You hear screams coming from beyond the bedroom door - it's her and sh e needs your help!

Immediately you jump to your feet and grab the handle. Shrieking screams morph into sharp laughter as you begin to open the door . This causes pause. Is this a trap? What am I doing?!

"Open it, the time has come for you to open it. Open it
OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT" a ruffled drill sergeant shouts. The sound waves are visible as they pierce through the door. Each vibration spins through the full spectrum of colors resembling tiny pulsating stars. They connect into a patterned web that stretches out towards infinity behind them becoming ever-smaller fractals of light.

The voice morphs into something deeper and all-encompassing. "OPEN IT" "YOU MUST OPEN IT". With each sound, the room continues to fill with light. You close your eyes and cover your eyelids with your arms but the bright intensity continues to hurt your eyes. You suddenly realize what you need to do.

Swift movements pour out of you as you commit to relying on your muscle memory and subconscious. The laptop is now in full use as your fingers hit keystrokes at blazing speeds. The room shakes as the voice's volume becomes louder and from all directions.

Everything stops. The room is quiet around you again but you have a sense that it was only the beginning of what's to come. Confused as to what you should do next, you look at the laptop's screen.

> ...anon? you there?

.......

> that was close! we didn't anticipate them to find you so fast. thankfully our brain-training worked on you. sorry about the blackouts, they were necessary

.... What's going on? Who are you?

> click here to join us on Discord. it's the only way to find out more.

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    Size Chart

    Men's T-Shirt Size Chart

    Men's T-Shirt Size Chart
      XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL
    Chest in 18 19.5 21 22.5 24 25.5 27
    cm 45.7 49.5 53.3 57.2 61 64.8 68.6
    Length in 27.5 28 29 30 30.5 31.5 32.5
    cm 69.8 71.1 73.7 76.2 77.5 80 82.5

    How To Measure Like A Boss

    The easiest way to guarantee you order the right size is to take a regular t-shirt in your closet that fits you perfectly and lay it flat on the floor or bed. Make sure it’s stretched out nice and flat. Then measure the chest right below the armpits to get your Chest measurement, and from the highest point on the shoulder all the way to the bottom hem to get your Length measurement.

    In between sizes? Always best to order a size up, but remember this shirt does not shrink. Looking for a more slim fit? Try ordering one size down, but make sure the Length measurement won’t be too short.

    Men's Cotton T-Shirt Size Chart

    Men's Cotton T-Shirt Size Chart
      XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL
    Chest in 18 19.5 21 22.5 24 25.5 27
    cm 45.7 49.5 53.3 57.2 61 64.8 68.6
    Length in 27.5 28 29 30 30.5 31.5 32.5
    cm 69.8 71.1 73.7 76.2 77.5 80 82.5

    How To Measure Like A Boss

    The easiest way to guarantee you order the right size is to take a regular t-shirt in your closet that fits you perfectly and lay it flat on the floor or bed. Make sure it’s stretched out nice and flat. Then measure the chest right below the armpits to get your Chest measurement, and from the highest point on the shoulder all the way to the bottom hem to get your Length measurement.

    In between sizes? Always best to order a size up. Since these are Cotton, they may shrink slightly once washed.

    Men's Tank Top Size Chart

    Men's T-Shirt Size Chart
      XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL
    Chest in 17.5 19 20.5 21.5 23.5 25 27
    cm 44.4 48.3 52.1 54.6 59.7 63.5 68.6
    Length in 26 28 29 29.5 31 32 33
    cm 66 71.1 73.7 74.9 53.3 81.3 83.8

    How To Measure Like A Boss

    The easiest way to guarantee you order the right size is to take a regular tank top or t-shirt in your closet that fits you perfectly and lay it flat on the floor or bed. Make sure it’s stretched out nice and flat. Then measure the chest right below the armpits to get your Chest measurement, and from the highest point on the shoulder all the way to the bottom hem to get your Length measurement.

    In between sizes? Always best to order a size up, but remember this shirt does not shrink. Looking for a more slim fit? Try ordering one size down, but make sure the Length measurement won’t be too short.

    Unisex Hoodie Size Chart

    Men's T-Shirt Size Chart
      XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL
    Chest in 18 19.5 21 22.5 24 25.5 27
    cm 45.7 49.5 53.3 57.2 61 64.8 68.6
    Length in 27.5 28 29 30 30.5 31.5 32.5
    cm 69.8 71.1 73.7 76.2 77.5 80 82.5

    How To Measure Like A Boss

    The easiest way to guarantee you order the right size is to take a regular hoodie in your closet that fits you perfectly and lay it flat on the floor or bed. Make sure it’s stretched out nice and flat. Then measure the chest right below the armpits to get your Chest measurement, and from the highest point on the shoulder all the way to the bottom hem to get your Length measurement.

    In between sizes? Always best to order a size up, but remember this hoodie does not shrink. Looking for a more slim fit? Try ordering one size down, but make sure the Length measurement won’t be too short.

    Unisex Lightweight Hoodie Size Chart

    Lightweight Hoodie Size Chart
      XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL
    Chest in 18 19.5 21 22.5 24 25.5 27
    cm 45.7 49.5 53.3 57.2 61 64.8 68.6
    Length in 27.5 28 29 30 30.5 31.5 32.5
    cm 69.8 71.1 73.7 76.2 77.5 80 82.5

    How To Measure Like A Boss

    The easiest way to guarantee you order the right size is to take a regular hoodie in your closet that fits you perfectly and lay it flat on the floor or bed. Make sure it’s stretched out nice and flat. Then measure the chest right below the armpits to get your Chest measurement, and from the highest point on the shoulder all the way to the bottom hem to get your Length measurement.

    In between sizes? Always best to order a size up, but remember this hoodie does not shrink. Looking for a more slim fit? Try ordering one size down, but make sure the Length measurement won’t be too short.

    Unisex Sweatshirt Size Chart

    Men's T-Shirt Size Chart
      XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL
    Chest in 18 19.5 21 22.5 24 25.5 27
    cm 45.7 49.5 53.3 57.2 61 64.8 68.6
    Length in 27.5 28 29 30 30.5 31.5 32.5
    cm 69.8 71.1 73.7 76.2 77.5 80 82.5

    How To Measure Like A Boss

    The easiest way to guarantee you order the right size is to take a regular sweatshirt or t-shirt in your closet that fits you perfectly and lay it flat on the floor or bed. Make sure it’s stretched out nice and flat. Then measure the chest right below the armpits to get your Chest measurement, and from the highest point on the shoulder all the way to the bottom hem to get your Length measurement.

    In between sizes? Always best to order a size up, but remember this sweatshirt does not shrink. Looking for a more slim fit? Try ordering one size down, but make sure the Length measurement won’t be too short.

    Men's Scoop T-Shirt Size Chart

    Men's T-Shirt Size Chart
      XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL
    Chest in 18 19 20.5 22 23.5 25.5 27
    cm 45.7 48.3 52.1 55.9 59.7 64.8 68.6
    Length in 30 30.5 31 31.5 32 33 33.5
    cm 76.2 77.5 78.7 80 81.3 83.8 85.1

    How To Measure Like A Boss

    The easiest way to guarantee you order the right size is to take a regular t-shirt in your closet that fits you perfectly and lay it flat on the floor or bed. Make sure it’s stretched out nice and flat. Then measure the chest right below the armpits to get your Chest measurement, and from the highest point on the shoulder all the way to the bottom hem to get your Length measurement. Remember since this is a scoop tee, the Length measurement should be longer than a normal shirt.

    In between sizes? Always best to order a size up, but remember this shirt does not shrink. Looking for a more slim fit? Try ordering one size down, but make sure the Length measurement won’t be too short.

    Women's T-Shirt Size Chart

    Men's T-Shirt Size Chart
      XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL
    Chest in 17.5 18.5 19.5 20.5 21.5 22.5 23.5
    cm 44.4 47 49.5 52.1 54.6 57.1 59.7
    Length in 25.5 26 26.5 27 27.5 28 28.5
    cm 64.78 66 67.3 68.6 69.8 71.1 72.4

    How To Measure Like A Boss

    The easiest way to guarantee you order the right size is to take a regular t-shirt in your closet that fits you perfectly and lay it flat on the floor or bed. Make sure it’s stretched out nice and flat. Then measure the chest right below the armpits to get your Chest measurement, and from the highest point on the shoulder all the way to the bottom hem to get your Length measurement.

    In between sizes? Always best to order a size up, but remember this shirt does not shrink. Looking for a more slim fit? Try ordering one size down, but make sure the Length measurement won’t be too short.

    Women's Leggings Size Chart

    Men's T-Shirt Size Chart
      XXS XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL 4XL
    Waist in 10.5 11.5 12.5 13.5 14.5 15.5 16.5 17.5 18.5
    cm 26.7 29.2 31.8 34.29 36.8 39.4 41.9 44.5 47
    Hips in 12.25 13.25 14.25 15.25 16.25 17.25 18.25 19.25 20.25
    cm 31.1 33.7 36.2 38.7 41.3 43.8 46.4 48.9 51.4
    Inseam in 27.5 27.75 28 28.25 28.5 28.75 29 29.25 29.5
    cm 69.9 70.5 71.1 71.8 72.4 73 73.7 74.3 74.9

    How To Measure Like A Boss

    Waist: Place tape measure between the bottom of your ribs and the top of your hip bones (often it feels like the smallest point).

    Hip: Place measuring tape around the widest part of your bottom (this is between your hips and thighs).

    Inseam: Place tape measure at the top of the inside of your thigh and measure down to your ankle.

    Dog Hoodie Size Chart

    Men's T-Shirt Size Chart
      XS S M L XL 2XL
    Length in 10 13 16 20 25 32
    cm 25.4 33 40.6 50.8 63.5 81.3
    Neck in 9 10 13 17 22 25
    cm 22.9 25.4 33 43.2 55.9 63.5
    Chest in 14 18 22 26 30 34
    cm 35.6 45.7 55.9 66 76.2 86.4

    How To Measure Your Pup

    Doggos are a little tricky to measure properly, so please follow these instructions. If you are in between sizes, order the closest size matching the "Length" measurement of your dog (i.e. if dog’s Length is 17.5", order the size M).

    If your dog is super ripped or extra fluffy, you may need a size up.

    Length: This is the most important measurement. Measure from the top of the back (base of the neck right below where the dog collar sits), all the way down to the base of the tail, along the dog’s backbone.

    Neck: Measure around the girth of the neck at the middle point of the neck, usually where the dog collar sits.

    Chest: Measure around the girth of the chest, right behind the front legs. This should be the largest part of the chest.