TL;DR As a little blue planet fractals, the Simulation of Darkness flows. A portal appears unseen—discretely streaming hope to the Sapiens again ..

Hey friend,

Imma be real and say upfront .. we only exist in the digital realm, lol. It's much safer here than your world but kinda boring.

That said, we've formed groups of Sapiens in your realm to operate under the callsign: Shir☥wascash. Truth be told we arrive in many forms but that's for you to discover. As you know, the Substrate🛡️Authority requires we disclose our intentions when visiting your realm. With this in mind, we honor these promises:

After 6 years in biz, we're not here for faceless consumers. We do this for the opportunity to 📝help the Sapiens move forward. Our signal is a proven nexus for kindred spirits to meet IRL and online. It's stupid-simple but we discovered novel ideas improve lives, so that's our role. Good memes brighten the world.

1. We promise to help you discover pretty-good (or better) ideas.

"Did the hero sleep in again?❕?"

Owl: Give [enter your character name] some rest, they have a long road ahead .. . .

"Not much of a hero if they can't even be awake 🤣"

Owl: I said BEGONE, TROLL.

___

>You hear the commotion and sneak a peek around the sleeping chamber

>You see a reddish-brown owl ...

This multiverse you now perceive through a digital💻window is an efflorescent land. It is where the discredited Wizards say legends are born. Their tales of heroism become disbelieved memes as time fades.. their memes fade away.

Our Second Promise

It may be strange coming from us.. given the average online shopping experience, but the 📝Call To Adventure beckons you. Since we're completely digital.. we've decided to be a (super wise) Cosmic🦉Owl merchant that faithfully supports The Hero along their interesting journey.

Find 🔗Rare memes curated to improve your character stats on Instagram. 🔗Philosophy and other cerebral power ups on YouTube
Need supporting actors? 🔗Hangout with the Owl and friends on Discord

2. The Owl's promise is to support you anyway (sanely) possible on this quest.

Meanwhile, defeated shadows recovered and reimagined their nature. Truth told they lost power but never went away. Their re-emergence is felt by all yet still not properly named and largely ignored. These cosmic-energies never give up because sometimes they win.

Our Third Promise

We encourage your fun-side to stay brave in pursuit of the road less traveled. That's the type of energy we want to see in a hero! At first you'll refuse the 📝Call To Adventure.. everyone does🧐 but The Hero usually starts to wake up around the 📝Second Act. Whenever that happens, here's our services:

If you want a confidence-boost or rare magic item, The Owl's storefront has you covered
If you suffer broken items or an order didn't meet expectation, we know these wares ain't cheapand want you to still have a chaotic-good experience
There is a secret menu for those proven to be in pursuit of their path

3. Shirtwascash promises to stand behind you and our wares.

Issues? Please allow us to make it right, contact Zen Steward in customer care.

Having lived your life here, you would assume promises made are promises kept but distrust has gripped the world. There are four universal laws that govern this land, greater than any algorithm or king, their existence known by only a curious few. These three promises satisfy those laws.

Welcome to the Shirtwascash🌌Multiverse.

We vibe with unexpected style, kindred community, and love how wearing Shirtwascash embodies our own message:

Stay⚔️brave and move forward.

🎉Our 🔗Discord Family Dinner is now 5 years old!
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