The role of our subconscious in online marketing.

by Anon Shirtwascash October 16, 2018 8 Comments

This is what the "Front Page of the Internet" looks like every day. 

In online marketing / advertising, we call the motivating factor in our messaging the Call To Action . It's the most important element and urges you to do things for us. Sadly, this biological hack into our reactionary lizard brain combined with a system that preferences profit generation > human well-being, is predictably a recipe for disaster.

Here's how it works:
1. First, you deeply understand your target audience,
2. Next, you find where they go online,
3. Then you witness their habits and what motivates them,
4. Finally, A/B test  language that triggers a reaction with a suggested action.

Some of you may remember this from Online Marketing 301 or Psychology 101.

You may have noticed none of my emails have said you need to buy our clothes because not doing so will kill all of your friends (well.. at least not seriously). That would be unethical. Honestly, I probably should so I can hire more people but regardless that's one hellova a call to action! Here's where we are with the progression of Call to Actions:

Better HURRY and VOTE OR ELSE !

It doesn't matter if you're Democratic, Republican, Independent, Vegan, from Vegas, into dudes that bang other dudes, like dressing in your imaginary sister's clothes, are on a strict Keto diet, or anything else - this is a common problem for all of us if we recognize what it actually is, who is paying for this to be in front of you, and why they have financial incentive to do so.

Be honest with yourself here... Before you read the next set of questions, consciously decide to be truthful with yourself in the privacy of your own head:

Do you ever stop and question who posts this stuff?
Given how often we're exposed to it, have you ever taken 10 minutes alone in complete silence with your thoughts to contemplate it?
Do you even agree with what it's saying and how it's being said?
How about the implications of this?
Is there a correlation between this and the divided country?
Increased anxiety and mental health problems?

Millenials Need to Start Voting Before the Gerontocracy Kills Us All

This seem like some pretty hyperbolic fear-mongering to me. Notice that they want you to fight against our perennial generation. What the hell? These people are our fathers, mothers, and someone's child. They have hopes and dreams just like you. They gave the true gift of life to us. In the words of the late great Elon Musk...

Most people are good.

New licensed artwork coming soon!

As a rational person, I decided that I don't need this influence in my life but sadly the front page of Reddit disagrees - which effects millions of minds every day.  Who wants you to vote so bad that they're willing to consume our well-being en masse to accomplish it? Maybe it's not even political but Nymag.com just doing it for that sweet ad revenue? Desperation has taken control. I think I have some good news though...

You remember that ol' wives tale, The Boy Who Cried Wolf?

 

For our younger audience, internationals, and people whose parents had two jobs to make things work, I'll boil it down. A kid notices every time he screams "THERE'S A WOLF!", the entire community reacts. He likes this because it gives him attention and power. Over time, however, no one believed him anymore. He was ignored.

Enter the scene: a real wolf.

The boy is confronted by a monster and does what any loud mouth would do - he screams and hollers - and no one cares. The little boy turns into wolf food and everyone else lives better ever after. From a modern perspective, the central message is this:

Although yelling about a known fear may rouse your neighbors, giving you that glorious attention and power you so desperately desire, continued yelling about false problems will end in your repulsion from the community. And, being alone as a human ends in your untimely death. 

Lucky for us, there is one simple trick that will disproportionately help you grow into a person with strong character. We need more people like that, so here it is:


Breath and allow things to pass.

Why is everything we need most so stupidly obvious? We want to be acknowledged as useful, we want opportunity and potential for growth, we want health and wellness, and several more that people are barely even aware of - like maintaining your innocent fun side, staying curious, the joy of genuine humility, and a relationship with nature.

Thankfully, most of what you need to feel and be better is already in your head. All of our perspectives and thoughts contain a binary decision to be positive or negative - if you could choose one - which would it be? It may be hard to be positive at first and a wandering mind will get in the way but it is something you can develop awareness of and begin to control. Mindfulness is a skill after all, and like any other skill, you should expect to suck at it to begin with but with effort you will learn and grow.

     If you're looking for a place to start, check out Sam Harris' new meditation app or Headspace.

best,

Psst... we really need to build our traditional social media channels to better share our message. Please take a moment to follow us and share on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

Anon Shirtwascash
Anon Shirtwascash


8 Responses

Shawn
Shawn

October 21, 2018

That sure is a lot of words to tell us you’re a scared baby boomer

Anon Shirtwascash
Anon Shirtwascash

October 19, 2018

@HAMCHA Damn that was useful advice, thanks!

Hamcha
Hamcha

October 17, 2018

Oh so this is what you’re doing now? I don’t mind it, but please of you want to highlight text use one consistent and clean way (like bold text) and not 3000 different ways. I get it’s hip but it makes it look like one of those “how you can make 300k$ in ten days” scam articles. It’s fine for meme ads but not really articles that want to unironically talk about something. Have fun with the rest of the backlash! Hope it doesn’t stop you from expressing yourself doing something you like!

Anon Shirtwascash
Anon Shirtwascash

October 16, 2018

@DESMORTIUS I respect your feedback and thank you for taking time to write it. I may suggest being constructive in your criticism in the future rather than reactionary in your attack. This is the type of thing I wrote the article to start being conscious of. Regardless, I do wish you well.

Desmortius
Desmortius

October 16, 2018

I will never buy another product from your company again. Elon Musk? Sam Harris? Was it necessary to drag politics into a clothing company? What is this South Park tier political analysis? If you’re going to post political shit, at least say something new, not something that’s been spouted by every libertarian dipshit who claims that “both sides are retarded” but still somehow sides with conservatives on every issue.

Anon Shirtwascash
Anon Shirtwascash

October 16, 2018

@NPC_1234 Appealing to open-mindedness and individual thought is the opposite of that sort of tribalism. Allowing people to be themselves is the ultimate commitment to diversity.

Your comment is part of the problem but I hope you well. I’m not easily trolled but will address you like a human even if you don’t value yourself as such.

PS: I’m a left leaning classical liberal… for now.

NPC_1234
NPC_1234

October 16, 2018

Sounds like an article that a NAZI would write. >:(

Shokotsu
Shokotsu

October 16, 2018

Fantastic article. Normally I don’t give a shit enough to click links. I’ll be honest, I’m really lazy. However, this whole Millennial v. Everyone shit fires me up. Like fuck off people and leave us alone. Anyway, I’ll be sharing this article with a few of my less free thinking friends. I doubt they will care or change, but there are always those little things you see or read online that “click” into your brain and never leave. Like dogs sneeze at you when they play or if you put a dog on it’s back and lay on it, that says I’m the Alpha you little shit, yes I examples 2 dog facts, but I really like dogs. Sue me. Maybe this can be one of those things that clicks for other people.

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M
L
XL
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Chest
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18

19.5

21

22.5

24

25.5

27

Length
(B)

27.5

28.5

29.5

30.5

31.5

32.5

33

Men's shirt sizing tips:
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These shirts are tall friendly.

Mens Tank
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M
L
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2XL
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Chest
(A)

17.7

19.3

20.9

22.4

24

25.6

27

Length
(B)

26.8

28

29.1

30.3

31.5

32.6

33.8

Tank sizing tips:
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These tanks are tall friendly.


Hoodies XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL
Length
(A)
28 29 30 31 32 33 34
Chest
(B)
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Hoodie sizing tips:
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These are tall friendly.
If you want it to be "baggy", consider ordering a size up.
 

Sweatshirt XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL
Length
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Chest
(B)
19 20.5 22 23.5 25 26.5 27
Sweatshirt sizing tips:
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These are tall friendly.
If you want it to be "baggy", consider ordering a size up.

Womens Tee
XS
S
M
L
XL
2XL
3XL

Chest
(A)

15

16

17

18

19

20

21

Length
(B)

24

25

26

27

28

29

30

Girl's shirts sizing tips:
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Leggings XXS XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL 4XL
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Hips (B) 12 1/4 13 1/4 14 1/4 15 1/4 16 1/4 17 1/4 18 1/4 19 1/4 20 1/4
Inseam (C) 27 1/2 27 3/4 28 28 1/4 28 1/2 28 3/4 29 29 1/4 29 1/2
Leg Opening 3 7/8 4 1/8 4 3/8 4 5/8 4 7/8 5 1/8 5 3/8 5 5/8 5 7/8
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