For this exploration into our brain's incredible virtual reality function, let's call that grown up Jeff/Jane. With your eyes closed, read these next questions and ask yourself:
How old is (s)he?
What're they wearing?
Where's (s)he work?
What hours is (s)he never around?
What's it even for? Some incredible retirement at 70?
Do you respect this person? How much?
Do you look up to them? Why so or why not?
Now, take an actual moment (30s) to imagine yourself as this person.
Give them your name and face. Does Jeff/Jane resemble someone close to you? Would you wish something better for them? Sadly, the only person you can truly help is you. Good news is that you deserve it!
Now, look at your life. Do you take the safe road or road trips? Do you put on make up for yourself or someone else? Do you stay quiet in groups because that's what others expect? Is the lack of outward expression or feel of human touch causing your inner dialogue to spiral out of control? Were your values and world perspective given to you from a Church, an online forum, or your parents?
Do you even break away from screen addiction enough to reflect on things?
The common idea of what it means to be grown up had worked for a while. It was an honorable path and should be looked back on fondly with respect. It used the remains of two World Wars - devastation caused by poor versions of Communism and Facism - and moved society forward into a safer and more open world we have today. Sadly, the safe path was a momentary thing. Our parents current trust in government schooling and societal-community education of us or our relatives and our youth's greater good needs to adapt.
Good news is you were given genetics that were made to adapt like a mother fking beast if you let it out.
We probably all imagined our Jeff (or Jane) to be something pretty similar. He keeps his opinions to himself (especially at work), wears the same boring clothes every day -> week -> year, maybe he plays golf for some fun. The weird shit he's into is kept secret and he works for someone else. His relationships are shallow and he finds it hard to tell others how much he cares. He's a good person but rarely does he get to feel alive! He's a sacrifice for you.
The person I am describing, my Jeff, is how I look at my dad. I love him but I would not want his life - neither would he want it for me too - I owe it to him to appreciate and do better.
This is the path that awaits us if you do not take ownership of yourself and your own future. You'll be a sacrifice or maybe you'll act out as we see happening with these mass shooters and bullshit trolling online. Your parents can't help you and they didn't know any better. They did their best (or maybe they didn't) but now, if you're able to read this, it's up to you. It's time for you to take ownership of your fate and be mindful of that moving forward. No more being victim or blaming others.
That stuff steals your focus and doesn't serve you. The world is filled with other people capable of the same feats of awesome and love that you are and if you aren't surrounded by that now (most of us aren't), someone needs to be brave enough to start.
You need to be brave enough to start. It won't be easy, and you will fail, but it will be worth it. View your falls like a trampoline and bounce back.
Start imagining the grown up you want to become. One that invites the things you actually feel passionate about flourish and upholds a strong set of personal values you identify with and want to share. Trust that others around you, doing the same, will uphold more positive values too - this is how we rebuild the fabric of our new society. Ignore the people tearing you down, they're just sad on the inside too, and be okay losing others that can't go on this journey with you. If you do, others with similar values will find you and join that awesome future version of you.
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